Day 3
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I am definetely in mourning and still in disbelief. Marie not letting me know was either to spare my or it was that she truly forgot about me. I think she forgot and wiped out our memories. She was black and white like that. She could turn off and walk away. Because she didn't think about things. She operated on a todo list and not a feelings list.
What is Real?
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Woke up today, day 4. Realized that Marie can't wake up. Where can she be? Is she in another world? Is she in space as an energy floating around with 90 Billion other souls who have died? The nice answer we all want is that she is reunited with her dad and is feeling only beauty and a higher level of peace. That would be nice.
The Scary Thing Is
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My last contact with Marie was by text in 2021. It seems like just a short time ago. She did not have cancer then. She did not know it was coming. So the scary thing is what don't we see coming. Today I am fine and everyone around me is fine. But what is coming?
Could I Have Helped Marie?
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I don't know what kind or cancer or where it started. I don't know what stage it was in when she was diagnosed. And i don't know why she didn't tell me. She knew how much I loved her and cared for her or she forgot.
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