For three days now I wake up and realize that Marie is gone. My brain can't accept it. How is this possible. Marie is a part of me. She lives in my head. I believe that when you get so close to someone part of your spirit enters their spirit and their spirit enters your. You truly become a part of each other. And when that part is gone, it still is in you and slowly you either try to keep it or try to let it leave your spirit. Time has nothing to do with it.
In fact, my Marie was gone in 2013 and 2014, the last time I saw her or in 2015 the last time I spoke with her and she told me to let Kuma go. My Marie is locked in that time and I have not been part of her life for the past 11 or 12 years even though she has always been a part of mine. So my Marie was gone then and she is gone again now. But she is still not gone from my spirit and my memory.
Marie is gone but she is not really gone. She lives in my brain and in my spirit. All those memories feel real and their is a lifetime of memories. That doesn't just erase, it doesn't just disappear. It is a large part of me and will always be. So in a way, I want to keep those memories of Marie and our life together.
Marie had a life with everyone she met and everyone that loved her. That is their Marie. But, this is about my Marie, about a life that we had together, a life that I cherish and want to remember. A life that I learned about Marie and about myself. A life that we went through together.
My Marie is locked in time 11 years ago. Everything I remember and write about her is from my memory. I know nothing about Marie since then. The last conact I had with Marie was when I texted her to ask for my bicycle back and she told me she thinks she gave it to Goodwill, which I didn't believe she would do that instead of calling me.
So this is my Marie. Ultimately it is really about me, as is everything in life.